I just finished watching this week’s Monday Night Raw, and boy am I pumped for WrestleMania.
Despite the scheduled Champion vs. Champion match between CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, there wasn’t much in the way of wrestling. There were, however, some red hot promos that scorched my television set, and my hungry wrestling fan heart.
None of which were cut by The Rock.
The two main stories this week were the rivalry between the two “best in the world”, CM Punk and Chris Jericho, and the WrestleMania main event match between John Cena and The Rock.
Punk and Jericho went at it during the opening segment, igniting the arena with dueling promos about who truly was the best in the world.
You see, you say that you’re the Best in the World at What You Do, and I say that I’m the Best Wrestler in the World. The distinction to me is very simple. This is nothing I chose. I was born this way; this is what I am. This is what I do while you chose to leave and write books and have a radio show and be on game shows and you choose to be a rock star. And all the while I’m here on top, swimming with sharks while you dance with stars.
– CM Punk (transcript by the beautiful Dani Porcaro)
It was some masterpiece promo-cutting by both man. You should see it for yourself.
In the “main event” of the evening, The Rock entered and delivered, to be honest, a lackluster promo–nothing we haven’t heart before besides his new John Cena pet name, Kung Pao Bitch. It was the same old, same old: catchphrases, Twitter mentions, Attitude Era references. Nothing terribly exciting, but nothing too offensive either. The white-hot crowd made the segment better than it was, but overall, it seemed like a mediocre effort.
Until John Cena came out and took a dump on everything The Rock built.
Cena came out with a rebuttal that seemed to put the nigh-infallble People’s Champ in his place, and then walked out of there like a boss. Seriously. Like a boss.
But what was the real zinger of the evening was Cena mentioning that The Rock had promo notes written on his wrist. “Nice tattoo, brother.”
It felt like a shoot, and it was cemented by The Rock himself, when he responded with… nothing. Nothing. He went on to talk about whipping Cena’s “candy ass” at WrestleMania, stumbling through his words until you could smell what he was cooking.
For the first time ever, Cena had one over on The Rock. And for the first time ever since his full-time in-ring days… The Almighty Rock became just a normal human being.
It was amazing.
The Road to WrestleMania just kicked into high gear, folks. Join us–we’ll be hurrying up the cakes all the way there.
I cannot wait.