Wrestling

That accolade is fresh

KSP on Punk vs. Taker:

CM Punk is the first legitimate candidate to challenge Undertaker’s winning streak since Randy Orton in 2005. In retrospect, Henry, Batista, Edge, Michaels, and HHH were all obvious in how they would play out. Henry wasn’t worthy; Batista and Edge couldn’t beat Taker and hold onto their championships; and Michaels’ pair was really all about defining what it means to be a great wrestler. HHH also lost twice.

I laughed out loud at this, but I would propose that HHH’s pair was about defining what it meant to be a great wrestling performer, without necessarily being a great wrestler.

Also, welcome back, Sawyer.

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Wrestling

Royal Rumble Depression 2013

I’m over it.

The Royal Rumble was an emotional roller-coaster, just as any wrestling show should be. But damn if Cena’s win didn’t depress me.

Quick thoughts:

+ Zigger is the man right now. Current in-ring MVP.
+ John Cena the human being is admirable, and worthy of respect. John Cena the character sucks balls and I hate him please go away
+ I love The Rock, but Punk has my current grown-up WWE fan heart. The false finish and Rock’s win made me look like this:

+ The Royal Rumble match itself wasn’t the best, but the surprises (JERICHO!!!) made it fun.
+ I like that Kofi Kingston was the only one dumb enough to get hit by the Cobra
+ Where does Punk go from here? Who is he facing at Mania? Taker? Austin? Brock? He’s been so good this past year, and I can’t wait to find out what’s in store.
+ I guess that means it wasn’t so bad after all?
+ Cena sucks. Because of you, I have to quit meat for a week. (Char and I have strange bets.)

In other news, Hurry up the Cakes is a year old today! Thanks to all who drop by here, the regulars and the Google-Searchers. God bless your kind hearts.

I’m exhausted. My grown-up heart can’t take roller-coasters like it used to. I’m going to bed now. See you soon, Cakers.

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Wrestling

Jerry Lawler suffers heart attack ringside in Montreal

KSP, a friend and most trusted wrestling/liberal arts critic, on Jerry Lawler:

What I’m trying to say is Jerry Lawler is really fucking important and good and necessary and a treasure, and I want him to be okay, and if I ever made it seem like I didn’t respect his day job I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intention.

He continues, on his being a critic:

I dig deep and think really hard because I respect the people who put on this show, who wake up every day and do a phenomenal job doing a thing that doesn’t get nearly enough respect. I don’t say that enough. None of us do.

Guilty as charged. I am much less a critic than I am merely a fan, and I have my opinions on the in-ring action, the mic work, the commentary. But regardless of any of any of that, I do respect any and all performers involved with the product that I love so dearly.

Jerry Lawler, our thoughts and prayers are with you over here on Hurry up the Cakes. Beat this, King.

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Wrestling

Jerry Lawler is a hypocrite

The following are two pieces of evidence that support this. And I quote:

On the 1001st episode of Raw, during the Miz/Ziggler vs. Jericho/Christian match, after Christian blatantly eye-gouges Ziggler, Michael Cole rightfully calls it out as illegal. Lawler responded:

I wouldn’t call that cheating!

On the 1002nd episode, Sheamus taunts Alberto Del Rio by breaking into his Ferrari and driving it all over San Antonio. Michael Cole, again, rightfully exclaims that Sheamus stole his car. Lawler responded:

I wouldn’t say he was stealing it.

There are countless more examples of his hypocrisy in the thousand episodes of Raw that have aired.

The reason this is problematic is that Lawler is supposed to be the good guy commentator. He’s supposed to play it straight. He’s supposed to be the voice of reason. He’s supposed to have the mindset that the WWE’s core audience subscribes to, and abides by. And since WWE’s current core audience is CHILDREN, Jerry Lawler might just be subconsciously creating legions and legions of future flip-floppy hypocrites.

Jerry Lawler, you are your character is a two-faced, spineless hypocrite. Shame on you. I hope Christian pokes your eyes and Sheamus steals your car.

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