Never mind, I’ll find someone like you

I broke my iPhone 6 Plus screen for the third time in 6 months.

The first time was back in November, and it was because I was careless. I was seated on bleachers, overseeing rehearsals of the Rude Mechanicals production of Twelfth Night. I grabbed my old trusty the Sahara Tiger 1.9L (RIP), popped open the lid, took a swig of cold water, closed the lid, and then placed the bottle down beside me. Right on top of my iPhone.

Crack. I yelped. Rehearsals stopped for a second. And then it dawned on the actors that I used my phone as a coaster. They laughed.

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I contacted Apple to inquire how much it would cost to have my out-of-warranty iPhone repaired. They said that they can’t offer repairs of screens, but that I could have the whole unit replaced for Php10000 (about $200). I opted to have the glass (which is laminated on the display) replaced at a local shop instead, for Php3500 (about $75).

One month later, while using my newly repaired iPhone, I noticed that there was a small gap between the display and the aluminum, near the top of the phone, above the earpiece and the FaceTime camera, like so:

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Thinking that keeping the gap exposed risked further damage on my phone, I tried to pop the top of the display back in with my thumb.

Crack. I yelped. My friends stopped eating and wondered what happened. Then it dawned on them that I just broke my own phone myself, and it was no accident. They laughed.

I had the glass replaced at the same shop, for cheaper. Then the repairman warned me that there was no way for him to insert the display into the aluminum body so that it’s flush with the rest of the unit. I told him that it was fine, and that I would be ultra-careful this time.

I immediately went to the nearest Otterbox store and purchased one of their Symmetry leather cases, along with one of their Alpha Glass screen protectors. While inserting the phone into the case, the glass display popped itself into the unit, and it became a perfectly flush iPhone again. Yay, right?

Last week, before heading off for a short drive, I opened up my phone and typed in my destination details on the Waze app. And then I tried to insert it into my dashboard holster, like I usually would, so that it could display turn-by-turn navigation while I drove. The holster felt a little tighter than before, so instead of loosening the holster first like a decent human being would, I decided to use just a little more force to squeeze my phone into it.

Crack. I yelped. My wife tried her best not to laugh. She failed.

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My phone still works perfectly fine. The Alpha Glass remained pristine, and it still holds the display together so that it doesn’t shatter. The cracks don’t reach the display itself, and they (thankfully) don’t cross the FaceTime camera or the proximity sensor.

But it’s ugly now.

And I don’t like that my phone is a phone that can break via gentle squeezing. So this weekend, I’m gonna head to Greenhills, the amazing local gray market shopping center, and look for a decent swap deal for an iPhone 6s. If I can’t find one, I might consider just getting an iPhone SE, and then I’ll just have the glass on my 6 Plus replaced yet again, and give it to my wife. I doubt that she’d ever break a display with her thumb. Or use it as a coaster.

Sigh. I love you, iPhone 6 Plus. But you are the wrong phone for me. I wish we could make this work, but you can’t seem to handle me.

I may have broken your face again. But you have broken my heart for the last time.

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