Never mind, I’ll find someone like you

I broke my iPhone 6 Plus screen for the third time in 6 months.

The first time was back in November, and it was because I was careless. I was seated on bleachers, overseeing rehearsals of the Rude Mechanicals production of Twelfth Night. I grabbed my old trusty the Sahara Tiger 1.9L (RIP), popped open the lid, took a swig of cold water, closed the lid, and then placed the bottle down beside me. Right on top of my iPhone.

Crack. I yelped. Rehearsals stopped for a second. And then it dawned on the actors that I used my phone as a coaster. They laughed.


I contacted Apple to inquire how much it would cost to have my out-of-warranty iPhone repaired. They said that they can’t offer repairs of screens, but that I could have the whole unit replaced for Php10000 (about $200). I opted to have the glass (which is laminated on the display) replaced at a local shop instead, for Php3500 (about $75).

One month later, while using my newly repaired iPhone, I noticed that there was a small gap between the display and the aluminum, near the top of the phone, above the earpiece and the FaceTime camera, like so:


Thinking that keeping the gap exposed risked further damage on my phone, I tried to pop the top of the display back in with my thumb.

Crack. I yelped. My friends stopped eating and wondered what happened. Then it dawned on them that I just broke my own phone myself, and it was no accident. They laughed.

I had the glass replaced at the same shop, for cheaper. Then the repairman warned me that there was no way for him to insert the display into the aluminum body so that it’s flush with the rest of the unit. I told him that it was fine, and that I would be ultra-careful this time.

I immediately went to the nearest Otterbox store and purchased one of their Symmetry leather cases, along with one of their Alpha Glass screen protectors. While inserting the phone into the case, the glass display popped itself into the unit, and it became a perfectly flush iPhone again. Yay, right?

Last week, before heading off for a short drive, I opened up my phone and typed in my destination details on the Waze app. And then I tried to insert it into my dashboard holster, like I usually would, so that it could display turn-by-turn navigation while I drove. The holster felt a little tighter than before, so instead of loosening the holster first like a decent human being would, I decided to use just a little more force to squeeze my phone into it.

Crack. I yelped. My wife tried her best not to laugh. She failed.


My phone still works perfectly fine. The Alpha Glass remained pristine, and it still holds the display together so that it doesn’t shatter. The cracks don’t reach the display itself, and they (thankfully) don’t cross the FaceTime camera or the proximity sensor.

But it’s ugly now.

And I don’t like that my phone is a phone that can break via gentle squeezing. So this weekend, I’m gonna head to Greenhills, the amazing local gray market shopping center, and look for a decent swap deal for an iPhone 6s. If I can’t find one, I might consider just getting an iPhone SE, and then I’ll just have the glass on my 6 Plus replaced yet again, and give it to my wife. I doubt that she’d ever break a display with her thumb. Or use it as a coaster.

Sigh. I love you, iPhone 6 Plus. But you are the wrong phone for me. I wish we could make this work, but you can’t seem to handle me.

I may have broken your face again. But you have broken my heart for the last time.

It’s been too long

You're kidding.

A photo posted by Mikey Llorin (@mikeyllorin) on Sep 16, 2015 at 1:51am PDT

The following are what’s been up:

  • I updated the Hurry up the Cakes About Page to finally reflect the fact that I am now a married man
  • I co-founded a wrestling blog that focuses on the Filipino wrestling fandom called Smark Henry. Go check it out!
  • I have owned an Apple Watch for half a year now, but have yet to write the official Hurry up the Cakes Apple Watch review. Here’s the short version: I have worn it nearly every day since it arrived, and the one day that I didn’t felt very weird.
  • Two podcasts were so very gracious to have me on as guests on the same week:
    • My old pal Sawyer Paul had me on his International Object podcast the day after the September Apple Event to discuss the new Apple products, fandom evangelism, and the fatigue that comes with being a critical fan. Check it out here!
    • The boys over on the Smark Gilas Pilipinas Podcast invited me over after listening to the IO episode to break down the aforementioned critical fandom fatigue. In other words, we all just vented about how hard it is to be us. How arrogant. Check it out here!
  • Klean Kanteen is a thing I am geeking out about. I want to write a long-form review of my 32 oz Insulated Classic water bottle with Sport Cap 3.0, but here is the short version: It’s beautifully designed, it’s the great for the environment, it’s incredibly durable, and you should get one. And try to never buy bottled water, as much as possible.
  • Cooking is a thing that I do now. I don’t think I have any right to post about my own recipes (yet) (?), so I would just like to share a two of my favorites that I found online:
  • My writing muscles are all out of shape. Some may argue that they’ve never been in shape, but I feel that they are now the worst they’ve ever been due to sheer inactivity. So here I am, declaring my weakness to the world, hoping to convince every one that I am not okay with it.
  • We are on the Road to WrestleMania and it just seems like it would be so much more exciting if there wasn’t so much pressure for it to be the biggest ever, business-wise. It’s unfortunate that in a wrestling landscape which features the most collectively talented wrestling performer roster(s) ever, the foremost question on most fan’s minds (including mine) is “How will they impress enough casual/former fans to fill up Cowboys Stadium?”
  • I promise not to make that same mistake for the WrestleMania moments of my life

I guess this means I have to start writing again

(K) Sawyer Paul (@intlobject):

After a few months of trying to write about wrestling again, I’m deciding to call it quits.

Sawyer’s wrestling-related writing is some of the best I’ve ever read. He is keenly in touch with the deeper pulse of pro-wrestling-as-liberal/performance art, and he has the writing and thinking chops to do justice to his unique position.

I will miss his wrestling-related writing, even if I know that his exits from wrestling writing are about as effective as Terry Funk’s retirements.

Cheers to you, my friend. Wishing you the best of luck on your future endeavours.

You can check out most of Sawyer’s wrestling-related work here and here.