If I could afford it, I would get it. Maybe this Christmas.

But Mikey, what do you need it for?

I want an e-reader so I can read my e-books anytime, anywhere.

But Mikey, you already have an iPad! Can’t that read e-books?

Yes it can, but the Kindle is smaller, lighter, and the new Paperwhite E-ink screen has 62% more pixels than the previous Kindle. It renders text better, and has much better contrast, which severely reduces screen fatigue.

Screen fatigue? Isn’t that the argument you used so that you would justify upgrading from the iPad 2 to the 3rd generation iPad with retina display?

Yes, but e-ink is far superior to any LCD screen, regardless of its pixel density, in terms of readability.

That’s also what you said about the iPad.

I know, but… the Kindle’s patented built-in light evenly illuminates the screen to provide the perfect reading experience in all lighting conditions! This ensures that my eyes don’t take any more suffering than it needs to before bedtime.

Do your eyes truly suffer at night, though? Don’t you just adjust the brightness or reverse the text colors to white-on-black on your Kindle, iBooks, or Instapaper apps?

Yes, granted, but… the Kindle’s screen completely eliminates glare, which means I can read my e-books out in direct sunlight, which I can’t do on my iPad.

When did you ever want to use your iPad out in direct sunlight?

One time last year, at a camp. Speaking of camping, the Kindle would be ideal in such scenarios because of its eight week battery life. Eight weeks! I wouldn’t need to charge until right before 2013.

How is that a problem? You charge your iPad every night, no matter how much battery life you have left.

…I know.

So, tell me, again, why do you want a Kindle?

It’s cheap?

$119 is nothing to scoff at. You’re trying to save, remember?

It’s… convenient?

You bring your iPad around everywhere, and you never complain about it.

I WANT ONE BECAUSE IT’S COOL, OKAY? SHUT UP DON’T JUDGE ME

Bingo.