WWE Royal Rumble 2012: I Feel Fine

Before we begin, may I just say, that I was right, and that you should always listen to Hurry up the Cakes, kiddies. 😀

Alright, carry on.

Last night was the Royal Rumble, and the Wrestling Community was out in full force on Tumblr and Twitter. I would almost say the frequently-updating Timelines and Dashboards were more entertaining than the event itself, but that wasn’t the case.

Daniel Bryan celebrates (via @charisseyaptan's Instagram)

The Triple Threat Steel Cage Match for the World Heavyweight Championship was a clean, entertaining, well-told story. Daniel Bryan, as the unintentional nerdy douchebag (who else could pull that off?), worked splendidly with the two lumbering behemoths Mark Henry and the Big Show, and his clean win legitimizes him simultaneously as a main event villain and a World Champion. Good stuff.

The 8-Diva Tag Team match was my bathroom break, which I enjoyed. Sorry, ladies.

John Cena vs. Kane wasn’t terribly offensive—it served its purpose of hooking the kids and getting Ryder on the show. I can’t help but wonder, though, after Cena moves on to his WrestleMania program with The Rock, how Ryder, Eve, and even Kane would move on with their characters intact. Sounds unlikely.

Brodus Clay is fun, but isn’t he just the 2012 version of Rikishi?

The WWE Title match was excellent. The near-falls were breathtaking, and Johnny Lauranitis’ involvement made sense—I love me some continuity. CM Punk’s seated power bomb counter, and Ziggler’s GTS-reversal-to-rocker-dropper were absolutely brilliant. Kudos to both men.

Is there anyone in the roster better—in terms of fluidity of movement, selling, and pure athleticism—than Dolph Ziggler right now? His hard work and sheer talent add up to make him the best person to make ANYONE look good in the ring with him. I fear, though, that that might be his downfall—he might be too good at making everyone else look good, that he’ll never get a true opportunity to be the WWE’s main man. Time will tell, though.

This year’s Royal Rumble match ended up on my list of favorite Rumbles, because of its consistency of entertainment. Even the spots with no-name entrants (Primo, Ezekiel Jackson) were not only entertaining, but clearly showed that it served its purpose. Almost nothing was arbitrary.

The Miz’s early dominance was great. Ricardo Rodriguez entering to Del Rio’s music was pure genius. Foley’s Socko vs. Santino’s Cobra was hilarious. Hacksaw’s, Road Dogg’s, Booker T’s, and Kharma’s entrances were terrific mark-out moments. And the ending sequence with Sheamus and Chris Jericho was absolutely intense. I was standing up and shouting after every move, counter-move, and elimination tease.

The 2012 Royal Rumble winner (via @charisseyaptan's Instagram)

In the end, Sheamus won the match and cemented his claim to a Heavyweight Title match at WrestleMania. Check out my previous post to see what I believe to be the significance of that match. Also to see that I was right.

The ending does leave us all to wonder, though, what Chris Jericho meant by his promo last Monday. Perhaps we’ll find out on this week’s Raw.

I will say, however, that if the Rumble was the end of the world as we know it… then I feel fine.