“I’m a guy who’s got it figured out”

The Awl — “How to Keep Your Mistress a Secret”:

I’ve had the same mistress for eight years and none of my girlfriends have ever found out about her. As soon as a girlfriend starts to suspect something, I accuse HER of cheating. That gives me a few weeks of cushion time to line up a new girlfriend. I’m a total commitment phobe but using this method I’m never in a relationship for longer than six months. And I have had the added benefit of conducting a fulfilling, rich and passionate affair with the same beautiful woman for eight years.

Terrible. Hilarious.


WWE Network now available where I live


Beginning today, fans in Thailand and Philippines can order WWE Network online by going to WWENetwork.com and receive their first month of service free. WWE Network in Thailand and Philippines will cost $9.99 USD per month, with no commitment and the ability to cancel any time.


I felt a great disturbance in the force, as if millions a couple hundred VPN subscriptions cried out in terror, and were suddenly cancelled.

One of the reasons I detest International Object is how cleverly and succinctly the author expresses what I want to express before I even get sit in front of my computer and blog about it.

(Another reason is how well Sawyer Paul lives up to his reputation as being the Terry Funk of wrestling writer hiatuses.)

At this point, it’s just attrition

Zack Handlen, reviewing The Walking Dead‘s season 6 premiere for AV Club:

But there is nothing exciting or scary about zombie fighting anymore. At this point, it’s just attrition: who will the writers decide is expendable during this latest attack. They’re not a threat, they’re a plot mechanic that’s outlived its usefulness, and while I don’t expect the show to give up on them anytime soon, we’re going to need some more interesting pressure to keep this from being even more of a slog than it already is.

This was me, three seasons ago.

Bryan retires > Vince is evil

Sean Rueter, for Cageside Seats, on Bryan’s plans to wrestle outside the WWE prior to the tests which led to his retirement :

Now that we know the outcome of Daniel Bryan and WWE’s concussion drama, more details are coming out concerning the lengths Bryan was willing to go to to keep wrestling, as well as the what Vince McMahon planned to keep him from doing so – at least for any company he didn’t run

Nope. Vince and co. planned to keep Daniel Bryan from wrestling completely, whether he ran those companies or not. And in so doing, probably saved Bryan’s life.

Whatever your thoughts on Vince McMahon, no one can argue that “Vince is evil” is a more important narrative than “Daniel Bryan has retired because his health and happiness are important”. Shame on all the wrestling pundits and jolly internet folks who insist on doing so.

The Verge’s Nilay Patel bought his mom a Chromebook Pixel

From Patel’s weekly “Divergence” column:

Should I buy my mom thousand-dollar computer that just runs Chrome?” I would idly wonder to anyone within earshot. I posted a forum thread to solicit opinions from Verge readers. I drove my friends and family insane with my indecision.

And then I bought my mom a Pixel. And it was one of the best technology purchasing decisions I’ve ever made.

Fascinating. I would never hear the end of it if it were my mom, though