Food, Mikey Llorin

Chances are, we don’t agree on what’s funny

The recently-relaunched introducing a new article on food pictures so yummy-looking that you will want to masturbate to them:

Fap-Worthy Food is a new installment on that showcases 5 awesome Instagrammed food shots. Since “foodstagramming” has become quite the popular (and mandatory) pre-eating ritual, let’s see if that 3-minute photo session before attacking your slab of steak was well worth it.

Fine concept, but the headline? Just a few weeks after posting an article on how to “put breasts in your mouth“?

Here is the comment I posted on the article page:

Hello, you guys. I am a fan. I don’t mean to be a hater. But “fap-worthy”? After the breasts-in-your-mouth posts? I suppose the imagery of masturbating to instagram pictures of food can be seen as *silly* and *rebellious*, but it’s also crass, and potentially unbecoming.

Can we/you rebel against pandering to the lowest common denominator? There is enough of that going on in the food world/entire internet, and is known to be above that.

Unless, of course, this is all just about site hits and analytics. In which case… *sigh*.

It’s disappointing that, a site that I believe stands for integrity, community, and silliness in the food world is resorting to provocative inappropriate gross imagery in their headlines, presumably in an effort to increase their site hits.

Unless, of course, they really, truly, honestly think they’re being funny. In which case, they might as well have a table that they use just for scrapbooking.

Edit: Clarified that the problem with the article is the headline, not the concept

Food, Mikey Llorin

Hurry up the Cakes recipe: Homemade Truffle Fries

Step 1: Order two large fries for delivery to your home


Step 2: Prepare one (1) bowl, one (1) large Ziploc bag, McCormick’s Montreal Steak Seasoning, and Truffle Oil


Step 3: Retrieve order upon arrival


Step 4: Dump fries into bag


Step 5: Season with Montreal to taste, season with truffle oil to extravagance/conscience tolerance




Step 6 Seal bag and do the Harlem shake vigorously


Step 7: Serve on bowl and enjoy with latest episode of Community, Conan, or WWE Monday Night Raw



Mikey’s Eats – August 7, 2012

Scary rainy day. Terrible things happened in my country. I am lucky to have a safe, blessed home.

And I’m lucky to have damned good food. Thanks, mom.

Open-faced maple smoked ham on tomato and fresh pesto

…plus tomato, basil, garlic, and parmesan on angel hair

The only sad part is I’m much less interested in eating out these days.


Comfort (Food)

What do you consider your ‘comfort food’?

For Char, it’s macaroni and cheese. She says it makes her feel like a kid again.

For my buddy Luigi, his “Pinoy Comfort Food” restaurant menu consists of different variations of longganiza and chorizo recipes.

For the gang at Hurry up the Cakes Favorite 2nd’s, it’s a smorgasbord of homemade filipino dishes, usually with a lovely modern gourmet twist.

It took a while for me to remember mine, though. My whole world is comfort food–if it doesn’t bring me some kind of happiness, pleasure, or comfort, I probably wouldn’t eat it. Char asked me this question a long time ago, and I think I answered based on what I would miss the most if I were deprived of all of my favorites. My answer was the patented Llorin breakfast: garlic fried rice, runny sunny side up eggs, thick hot chocolate, and any combination of tapa, longganisa, dried fish, chorizo, or cured meats.

Most people answer that question based on what dish or food type transports them to their warm, cozy, idealized concept their childhood home. I couldn’t think of anything that would “transport” me because most of the time I’m exactly where I want to be. Which is usually in front of good food.

So today I found a more precise answer.

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Food, Geekery, Meta, Wrestling

Attention, tributes:

  • The Hunger Games was good, and fun, and exciting, in the same way that wrestling is good, and fun, and exciting. This is a compliment (not a complement). It reminded me of the Royal Rumble, except elimination actually meant death. I can’t wait ’til the next one.
  • I’m talking about the movie, not the book.
  • WrestleMania is five days away. Breathe. Do you smell that? It is in the air. It is WrestleMania season.
  • The new iPad is on its way to Hurry up the Cakes Headquarters–expect my first impressions tomorrow, and, of course, the Hurry up the Cakes review in a few days. If you want to ask anything (anything!) about the 2012 iPad, feel free to drop a line in the comments, the Facebook page, or on Twitter via @mikeyllorin.
  • No food posts in the past few weeks (I know, sorry!), but trust me, it’s not for lack of food. Or eating. Which has been good. So good, in fact, that if I wrote about them, the content might have just consisted of “So good!” and “I’m a happy boy!” again and again and again. And you (the thousands upon thousands of you!) certainly deserve better than that over here on Hurry up the Cakes.

These are the only announcements. Thank you. And may the odds be ever in your favor will you please hurry up the gosh-darned cakes.